"Sometimes the dreams you have are burning down... Sometimes you walk alone there's no one else around... Don't care about the rules they're telling me... I know that things aren't always what they seem...

I want Something More... Maybe you could be what I've been looking for... Dreamin like this, just you and I... Living each moment passing by... Watching the starlight in the sky... I want Something More... I want Something More...

Sometimes your heart gets buried underneath... Sometimes your soul is just a raging sea... I saw your face under the Northern Lights... And if you ask I couldn't tell you why...

I want Something More... Maybe you could be what I've been looking for...

Sometimes you walk alone... Sometimes you walk alone... I don't wanna walk alone... I want you to take me home..."

~ Something More by Adelita's Way

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Main Character Introductions ___________________________

Ashley Brooks 23 yrs old

Ryder Murphy 27 yrs old

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SOMETHING MORE __________________________

Chapter One _____________________

>> FLASHBACK << Six Years Prior __________________________

My older brother, Dylan, runs his hand through his sandy blonde hair, looking at me through his nowadays almost always glassy eyes with sympathy. He sighs heavily when I stare back, pleading silently.

But before he can reply though, the front door swings open, and his best friend, Ryder Murphy, walks in.

I feel a blush creep into my cheeks. He was gorgeous, all six-feet of him. Lean, sculpted muscle rippling under a very form fitting white, long sleeved shirt. Jeans that looked like they were made just to show off his body, and hung low on his hips. A face out of a magazine with a strong jawline, full lips, dark, wild hair, and equally dark, brooding eyes, that were usually as glassy as Dylan's.

He was wild, crazy, older. Your typical bad boy, I guess. Which made my teenage heart pitter patter dangerously, despite the fact that he always made me feel safe, and saw me like a sister.

He sees me standing behind Dylan, and his lips tilt up in a smile.

Suddenly we hear a slow shuffling noise of movement behind us.

Our mother stumbles her way into the kitchen, obviously drunk, looking for another bottle, or maybe more of her pills.

Dylan and I both look down in embarrassment while Ryder, though clearing his throat uncomfortably, was also not surprised. He nods, answering back politely.

Apparently it was both she was searching for this time. She rummages through a drawer, pulls a pill out of a bottle, then pours a drink, and swallows down the pills with the alcohol.

Though none of us had been able to reach through to her for months Dylan still tries again, anyway.

She visibly stiffens for a moment, then her shoulders sag defeatedly, and she begins slowly walking away.

I feel tears prick my eyes. When I look up at Dyl, he's watching her walk away, literally and figuratively from us, with a deep, profound sadness, and a disappointment that I'm sure is mirrored in my own.

But I also see something else. Something I'd been seeing more and more of lately in the dark shadows of my brother's eyes. Something I couldn't quite put my finger on, but made me uneasy.

I wrap my arms around myself, staring down at the ground dejectedly, waiting for Dylan to leave. Miserable at the thought I would be stuck here with her in this house, while Dad was out on another long haul in his big rig as usual, for work... Stuck with the gloom, grief, and darkness that had never quite dissipated, not since that awful day.

I feel a hand on my arm, and look up at Dylan and Ryder.

I throw my arms around his neck in a quick hug, then run upstairs before he can change his mind.

When I come back down, Ryder throws his arm around me casually, grinning.

Of course they were. That's what they did, when they weren't working, especially since they'd both turned twenty-one and were legal now to drink on top of everything else. That's what everyone around me did, get fucked up...

But at least they had fun instead of sitting around all morose, and depressed.

Dylan was my one constant. He wasn't just my big brother, he was a father figure, in a way (though maybe not the best), a mentor, and next to Sadie, my best friend and confidant.

Even though he was just as grief-stricken and heart broken as everyone else, Dylan hid his increasing emotional struggles behind an easy-going smile, and was always, always there for me... Even if lately he had begun to party so much, along with Ryder, that he was sometimes unpredictable.

*****

Later that night the three of us are at a huge, outside bonfire party at a friend of Ryder's, sitting on the tailgate of his truck.

Well, Ryder and I are sitting there. Dylan had gotten into an argument with his girlfriend, Willa, earlier, and drank so much after she took off, he'd passed out on us. He was now snoring loudly in the back seat of the crew cab.

I watch as Ryder takes a long hit from the joint he'd just finished rolling. Holding the smoke in, he stretches it out towards me.

I already had a little buzz, because it was Friday and everyone else was, so I figured why not. But I hadn't been able to drink at the club, so I was still good.

We smoke half of it, then Ryder stubs it out, and slides it into his half empty cigarette pack. He pulls one out, taking a long drag as he lights it.

One of his other friends stops by where we're sitting, clearly drunk, as well. He fist bumps Ryder, then notices me sitting there.

He gets ready to hop up on the tailgate by me, but Ryder jumps down, intercepting him before he can.

The guy realizes Ryder is not messing around and backs off. Throwing his hands up in an exaggerated signal of surrender, he laughs...

Not sure what Pat was talking about, I look to Ryder, who shrugs.

I can't stop the thought of what it would be like to actually be "with" Ryder though, instead of him just being with me because of Dylan. And the buzz I have doesn't help.

I would never admit the huge crush I had on him, or the way he made my insides tingle and my heart pound, whenever he was close to me.

I would never do anything to ruin the easy way we could get along and hang out, the way we did already. It wouldn't do any good to admit it, anyway. Ryder was way older, way wilder, too good of friends with my brother, and way too gorgeous, to ever see me as anything besides a little sister.

Even though every once in awhile I would catch him looking at me, and the look in his eyes would make me wonder...

Not long after, Ryder jumps down from the tailgate, holding out his warm hand to help me down also. I take it without hesitation.

He asks me about my job on the way home. I had started working at a local restaurant as a waitress as soon as I'd turned sixteen, and had been saving every penny.

I tilt my head, thinking.

It was true. Things were bad. And didn't look like they would be getting better anytime soon.

Dylan and I's little sister, Haley, had been killed in a freak car accident along with her best friend, and her friend's parents, six months ago. And our entire family had just fallen completely apart.

My mom had always been a drinker. But she had kept her shít on the down low and together, and had always been a good mother. Now, she was a shell. She had turned to pills, on top of the alcohol, unable to cope with Haley's death.

My dad was an OTR truck driver, and though he loved my mom, was gone most of the time now. He had begun taking on more and more long haul trips, I suppose because he couldn't deal with the painful grief, either.

Dylan and I were devastated. Not only had we lost our little sister, it seemed we had also now lost both of our parents, as well.

And here lately, I was even beginning to worry about Dylan. He seemed different, more often fúcked up than not, just like tonight. And it was even worse when his girlfriend, Willa, was involved.

I would be graduating high school in five months, a month before my eighteenth birthday. And I meant it when I told Ryder I would leave if it wasn't for Dylan.

There HAD to be Something More to life, than this unbearably depressing, toxic environment, I was threatening to be drowned in.

When we get back to the house, I help Ryder get Dylan upstairs. My mom is passed out on the couch as we walk by, never stirring.

We practically drag him up the steps, none too steady ourselves. When we get Dylan into his bedroom, and go to put him in bed, I stumble over something in the floor, pitching us both sideways. I end up landing beside Dylan, on the bed, with Ryder Murphy sprawled on top of me.

Our eyes lock, and my heart explodes, pounding erratically at the fiery heat that instantly seems to erupt between us.

We just stare at each other, not willing, or maybe even able, to move. Ryder's lips hover mere inches from mine, and I feel this strangely magnetic pull, that brings us slowly closer.

My breath completely leaves me, when Ryder's lips touch mine. Softly, tentatively at first, then more passionate, demanding access with a sensual swipe of tongue over my bottom lip, and claiming every part of my mouth when it is granted.

My First Kiss.

And it's with Ryder fúcking Murphy... my brother's best friend, and secret teenage crush...

I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing, but God, it is pure magic. So I just close my eyes and let him lead me, his mouth, lips, and tongue fueling the raging fire I feel inside.

I feel a strange, deep ache inside, when the evidence of his arousal presses into my center through his bulging jeans, that makes me whimper.

At the sound, Ryder immediately stops as if broken from a trance. Breathing heavily, he pulls himself off, up, and away from me.

Without another word, he turns around and walks out of the bedroom, leaving me lying there breathless, confused, turned on, embarrassed, and strangely heartbroken.

When I hear his truck start up and drive away, a tear trickles from my eye. I touch my finger to my still tingling lips, wondering what it was I did wrong.

After several agonizing minutes, I just curl up beside a soundly sleeping Dylan and lay there with my eyes closed until I finally manage to drift off myself.

**********

PRESENT DAY _______________________

I was holding my phone, talking to my best friend and roomate, Jayme, while she was at work. I talk with one hand, throwing my shít into a suitcase, and duffle bag with the other, at the same time.

My mind had been traveling down memory lane, or probably better put, nightmare lane, since I'd gotten the news a few hours ago.

It had been six years now since I'd graduated high school. After that night that Ryder Murphy and I had kissed, things had steadily gone even further downhill. So I had ended up packing up and heading out less than a week after my high school graduation, which my mom and dad had missed, and my brother had shown up to, but very embarrassingly intoxicated.

Dylan had gone off the rails. Not just drinking and smoking pot, but popping pills, snorting pills and God only knew what else. And most of the time he did them all together, with his best friend and party partner, Ryder, always right there with him, of course.

Ryder never mentioned the kiss. As a matter of fact, he acted like it had never happened. Which hurt like hell but was fine, as I didn't like what he had seemed to be turning into, any more than I did my brother.

For those last five months I did everything I could think of to get through to Dylan, and convince him to get some kind of help.

I begged. I pleaded. I cried. I screamed. I was helplessly watching my brother, who I loved so much, sink deeper and deeper into addiction every single day.

When he showed up all fúcked up to my graduation though, I knew I couldn't take anymore. I had begged him one last time, with tears streaming down my face, to let me get him some help, and he'd flat turned me down.

So, I'd given him one last hug before crying my eyes out and finally walking away. I bought a used but reliable car with the money I'd saved up, packed all my shìt, and drove out of that godforsaken eastern Tennessee town less than a week later.

Within six months Dylan was gone. Dead from an overdose of alcohol and drugs, that they weren't sure whether was suicide, or accidental.

Of course Ryder Murphy had been with him that night, and I had no doubt, fúcked up as well. I had come home long enough for the funeral, and had seen him there briefly. But I had been so angry, so utterly heartbroken, I blamed him in my mind, and refused to speak to, or even acknowledge him, taking back off as soon as the funeral service was over.

And now... it was my mom.

Dad had called me at the hospital here in Chicago, where I'd lived the last few years and worked as a nurse. After putting myself through school, on my own.

After talking with my supervisor and arranging an emergency leave of absence, I had headed home with a heavy heart to pack, and head back to Tennessee, once again.

I wasn't surprised. No one was. The fact that she'd lasted this long was the surprise.

She had never recovered from Haley's death, and after Dylan had died she'd just existed, living on alcohol and pills for years.

My dad had stayed with her, though he was always on the road. And I wouldn't doubt if he kept her supplied, out of a misguided sense of love, pity, and guilt.

He had actually called from the road, his voice sad but resigned. One of the neighbors had gone to check on her and called the cops when, after a full day of trying several times, got no answer.

They had found her at the bottom of the steps with a broken neck, after she had likely tripped, or fallen while she was fúcked up.

Dad had just crossed over into California on another long haul when he'd called, letting me know everything was taken care of and all I had to do was come home. He would be there in a few days, in time for the funeral.

Numb, I close my suitcase and bags when I'm finished, and toss them haphazardly into the back of my car. I make my way through evening traffic to my boyfriend, Zach's house downtown.

I hadn't thought to call him. I figured I'd just let him know in person since it was on my way out of the city, anyway.

We had met at the hospital when his brother had been stabbed, and Zach had come to be with him. We had struck up a conversation. He'd asked me out, and I'd agreed. And we'd been together going on close to a year.

And maybe I didn't feel sparks, or see fireworks when he kissed me. Maybe we hadn't spent as much quality time together lately. Maybe he was still fairly closed-mouthed about his job, doubtless because it was in security... But he was a good guy who treated me well, made me laugh, and we were just... comfortable together. Which at this point in my life was good enough for me.

Shocked to find a parking spot on the street, I quickly whip in, hop out out of the car, and run up to the door of his house.

Pulling out the key he'd given me a few months ago, I let myself in. I open my mouth to call out and let him know I was there, when I hear noise, and snap it closed.

Not just any noise, either, but the unmistakable moans and cries of two people passionately fúcking. Which is what I see happening in the kitchen when I turn the corner and find my boyfriend with a redhead bent over the counter, his pants around his ankles and his dick pounding into her ass.

His head snaps around at the sound of my voice, his eyes nearly bulging out of their sockets.

He jerks out of the little whore, and starts pulling his pants up.

Ignoring him, I turn and walk back out the door, feeling angry and sad, sure. But on top of everything else, I feel mostly just defeated, resigned, and fúcking numb.

Zach comes barreling out the front door and catches me just as I reach my car, grabbing me by the arm.

Automatically, I swing around and punch him as hard as I can in the face with the other.

He does, and in a hurry, reeling from the unexpected blow.

He blocks me from opening my car door, and I look him dead in the eye.

I can't believe I let him in. I can't believe I trusted a guy, enough to let myself get semi serious about him, and think he might be different, when I knew they were all pieces of fúcking dog shít, anyway!

I hold my hand up, pointing my finger in his face.

With a growl of frustration, he moves back far enough for me to get my door open and climb in the car.

Ignoring him again, I start the car and pull away, swallowing the bitter taste in my mouth, and taking a few long, deep breaths.

Fúck if that wasn't just the cherry on top of a completely shìt day. But I supposed it was better to know now than waste any more time on the dirty, cheating bastard...

*****

The nearly eight hour drive from Chicago to Tennessee is uneventful. Which is good, because I kind of find myself going into autopilot along the way. A quick stop for gas and a bathroom is my only break. I have zero appetite, so I don't even worry about eating.

************************** "Welcome To Rockpointe, Tennessee" **************************

I roll my eyes when I pass the familiar sign, the only upside being that the long drive is over.

When I pull into the driveway, I sit there with the car running, staring at the house I grew up in for several long minutes.

I put my head down on my hands as they rest on the steering wheel, feeling like crying. But as they had since I'd gotten the news, the tears still won't come.

I think I had already cried them all a million times over, and must not have anymore left.

Putting going in off just a little bit longer, I pull out my phone and text Jayme to let her know I was here. Then I call Sadie, my best friend from when I had lived here, who I'd actually kept in really close touch with over the years.

Even though I'd left Chicago around nine pm, and it was only a little after five am now, she answers after only the third ring.

>> Phone Conversation <<

I close my eyes, eternally grateful that this girl was my friend, and had always been there for me, even when we had been hundreds of miles apart.

*****

After I get off the phone I sigh loudly, tempted to wait for Sadie before going in. But I figure it's better to do it now, and alone, so if I have a bad reaction I can get myself under control before seeing anyone.

Steeling myself, I shut the car off and get out, walking up to the door. The first early rays of daylight are beginning to break through the wide open sky overhead.

Grabbing the spare key my dad always left on the tiny ledge above the door, I open it and let myself in.

The funeral would be on Saturday, the day after tomorrow. Afterward, I would spend a little time with my dad.

Then I would be on my way the fúck back outta this place...

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SUPPORTING CHARACTER INTRODUCTIONS __________________________

Jayme Jones 24 yrs old Ashley's Best Friend in Chicago ___________________________

Zach Evers 26 yrs old Ashley's (now former) Boyfriend

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Sadie Tillman 23 yrs old Ashley's Best Friend from High School

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